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Survival Strategies for Parenting Your Add Child: Dealing With Obsessions Compulsions, Depression, Explosive Behavior, and Rage

 

Survival Strategies for Parenting Your Add Child: Dealing With Obsessions Compulsions, Depression, Explosive Behavior, and Rage
by George T. Lynn

Based on his conviction that children with Attention Deficit Disorder are gifted in unusual ways, the author provides strategies for dealing with problem behavior and low self-esteem in children with ADD and the stress it brings. Original. 25,000 first printing. IP.

From the Publisher
This unique book addresses, and helps parents find solutions to, the more severe aspects of ADD - something no one else has done.


From the Author
This book comes out of my life. My son Gregory is now 13 years old. Though already well trained as a psychotherapist I was not prepared when his neurologic-based misery emerged nine years ago. I had already raised two daughters and was a successful family therapist at the time.

Suddenly I found myself faced with the immensity of Gregory's problems -- his night terrors, obsessionality, rage, and powerful hyperactivity -- that I felt helpless to prevent. As I turned my personal interest and professional focus toward kids like Gregory, I discovered that I was not helpless. I learned to listen and look closely to what was happening and began to see the patterns formed by stress, brain chemistry, and social experience and what could be done.

This book is the product of my journey down this path. It is the chronicle of the wisdom of my clients' struggles and my own learning. It is the acknowledgment that more than excellent, loving parenting is needed to bring up some kids. It is a survival manual for parenting and parent self-care. It is a book that I would have liked to have found years ago when Gregory was first facing the challenges of his neurobiology that could have given me some answers about what we needed to do to take care of ourselves and Gregory so that he could grow up to fully realize his gifts and life joys.

About the Author
George Lynn, M.A., C.M.H.C. is a Washington State Certified Mental Health Counselor with a practice located in Bellevue, Washington. He holds Masters Degrees in Psychology from Antioch University and in Public Administration from the University of Colorado. He has worked in the counseling field in Washington since 1979. He taught coursework at the graduate level in individual and organizational psychology at the University of Puget Sound, Antioch University, and Chapman College.

George's specialties include stress management, relationship counseling, and the parenting of children diagnosed as Hyperactive/Attention Deficit, Tourette Syndrome, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. In his work, George helps his clients affirm aspects of personal strength and character to manage crises and achieve purposeful, enjoyable lives.

He is husband of poet Joanne Barrie Lynn and father of two grown daughters and a 13-year-old son, Gregory, who has been diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome and ADHD. Gregory's struggle for healing and understanding has been featured on the Seattle Times, The Family Therapy Networker and Hope Magazine.

George may be contacted by email at 73773.1454@compuserve.com.

Excerpted from Survival Strategies for Parenting Your ADD Child by George T. Lynn. Copyright(c) 1996. Reprinted by permission, all rights reserved
In Chapters One through Four, which make up Part I of the book, I show how your child's way of seeing the world puts pressure on him, and what you can do to relieve these pressures and build his strength of personality. In Chapter Four are techniques for you to take care of yourself so that you can take care of him.

Part II contains eight chapters which deal with helping your child manage aspects of his A.D. that I have seen to be among the most problematic for my client families. Chapter Five shows you ways to calm your child's hyperactivity. The succeeding chapters show how to manage oppositionality, self-righteousness, emotional wildness, dangerous behavior, depression, rage, and obsessions.

In the five chapters that form Part III, I talk about patterns of distress that occur in families with A.D. kids and what you can do to change these patterns. These are the essential predicaments of people like you and me who are forced to deal with stress that most parents can't comprehend.

Part III begins with Chapter Thirteen and the grief process that families experience after diagnosis. In Chapter Fourteen I describe how a family can turn into a battleground around an Attention Different child and how to prevent this dynamic.

Chapter Fifteen deals with school-caused stress, a major problem for most families with special-needs kids. Chapter Sixteen shows how to survive the challenges of parenting an A.D. child on your own. Single-parenting an A.D. kid is a true test of personal resourcefulness.

Chapter Seventeen discusses the myriad of stressors that come to bear on blended families those with adopted A.D. kids or non-A.D. step-parents in the household. In this chapter are ideas for building a positive and happy blended family environment.

Part IV, the Appendix, contains an article by Dr. Walter J. Crinnion, a leading naturopathic physician who discusses the tie-in between diet, allergies, and problematic behavior. Many "urban legends" abound about alternative approaches so I was very pleased to get Dr. Crinnion's insights on the research about dietary factors that actually make a difference.

Essential ingredients of stress "hardiness"
In 1979 University of Chicago researchers Suzanne Kobasa and Salvatore Maddi built on Selye's concepts to identify the essential ingredients in the lives of people who stay healthy despite the stress that they experience. Strengthening these "hardiness factors" are key to helping the Attention Different child deal with his problems and realize all his gifts. Maddi and Kobasa's hardiness factors include:

a. The person has support in his life from others and has an outlet for giving and receiving love. Selye focused on the giving aspect of this interaction and called this "egoistic altruism." Other researchers have shown how important feeling loved and supported is to staying healthy. This is also an essential ingredient for the health and healing of your Attention Different Child: He must at all times feel loved and supported by you in his struggles to overcome his problematic reactions to the stresses he faces. Love keeps him afloat while he's doing the important work of re-educating himself to deal with the particular stresses of his perceptual style.

b. The person feels in control of his life and does not feel overwhelmed by events. He experiences a sense of personal freedom and does not see setbacks to his goals as insurmountable obstacles but as challenges.

The Attention Different child's feeling of being out of control not only of himself but of events around him is central to his distress and low self-esteem. All a parent's strategies must help him develop more self-control and focus in the way that he responds to events so that he is better able to moderate his reactions and get on top of them earlier. This takes practice and patience on your part but the returns can be remarkable and dramatic. The techniques provided in this book beginning with the next chapter will help you give your child more control over his reactions.

c. Finally, these stress hardy people have a sense of purpose in their lives. They have something that they can commit themselves to that makes life worth living.

The fierce sense of purpose of most Attention Different children is a parent's greatest ally. Most Attention Different children come by this sense of willfulness naturally; it is a requirement for them to be headstrong and stubborn in order to overcome the continual internal experience of being out of control, lost in chaos.

The wisest parents know that it is far better to have a stubborn fighter of a child than one whose spirit is gone or almost gone, who merely goes along, depressed and uncommitted to anything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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